Brothers Are Hell
by TakeARideInTheImpala
Summary: Sam and Cas arguing over whose brother is worse. No slash, just friendly but Gabriel will be Gabriel.


"No Dean's definitely worse; you should see all the girls he brings home."

Cas rolled his eyes. "Gabriel brings home girls _and _boys. Occasionally both."

Sam and Cas had been arguing for weeks about whose brother was worse and now they'd finally decided to settle it once and for all. The two had been best friends for as long as they could both remember and one thing they had in common was annoying brothers; that they definitely agreed on.

"Dean's room is next to mine."

"I share a room with Gabe."

Despite his desire to win Sam couldn't help but laugh. "That is pretty bad."

"And," Cas added. "He makes me do half his homework."

"That's nothing, Dean makes me do _all_ of his homework. And he steals my laptop."

"Gabe hides my stuff all the time. His hobby is pranking."

"Dean is _way _overprotective."

"Gabriel has an unhealthy obsession with sweets."

"Dean has an unhealthy obsession with pie."

"Gabe-"

Of course Cas' older brother chose that moment to walk into the room. "What's that about me Cassie-boy?" He glanced over at Sam. "Looking good Winchester, you've grown since I last saw you. Puberty works miracles, eh?"

"Gabe hits on anything that moves." Cas finished, smirking at the older boy.

Gabriel shrugged and glanced over at Sam again. "Only the hot ones."

Cas rolled his eyes, "You're only helping my point Gabriel."

The older boy didn't seem fazed by that fact. "That's 'cuz I help you with things. Because I'm a good brother right?" He grinned triumphantly and Cas was too confused by his logic to counter it.

Meanwhile Sam couldn't help but laugh. "Can't argue with that Cas, so I think that means I win right?"

"Hey not so fast; I want in, Castiel is hardly an angel to live with you know?" Quick as a flash Gabe had pulled up a chair and joined them at the table.

"First off he's the most socially awkward teenager I've ever met. He never goes out or anything."

"On the contrary to you, who takes every opportunity to go out to parties or whatever." Cas countered.

"It's better than staying in all the time."

Seeing that this would just go around in circles if he didn't stop them Sam interrupted. "Let's say that one's a matter of opinion shall we?"

Gabriel shrugged, "Yeah sure I've got plenty more arguments left. Like the fact that you're so quiet sometimes it's like you just appear out of nowhere and scare the life out of me."

"Is that really the most annoying thing you can think of? It doesn't sound that bad." Sam commented, amused.

Gabe however was insistent, and slightly melodramatic. "It's terrifying! I mean I'll get up for a glass of water in the middle of the night and run into him without even realising he's awake. Are you seriously telling me he's never done that to you?"

Sam shook his head, still entertained by the thought but as he opened his mouth to answer the doorbell rang. "Oh that'll be my brother." He informed them, then raising his voice he yelled, "Come on in Dean!"

From down the hallway they heard the distant sound of the door handle turning, then someone stumbling toward them accompanied by angry muttering. "Hey Sammy, tell your friends they need to learn what shelves are. That place is a mess." Dean said as he entered the room properly.

"Another downside to living with Gabriel." Cas added, but Gabe ignored his comment as he ogled at Dean instead.

"Jeez the Winchesters got all the good genes didn't they?" Was the first comment that came out of his mouth upon seeing Dean, "Looking fine there Dean-o. Not quite as good as Sammy but _damn_."

"See," Cas whispered to Sam, "he hits on everything that moves." And the two of them erupted into fits of laughter at the uncomfortable blush creeping onto his brother's face.

Then Dean decided to turn the conversation away himself from being hit on. "So, what are you ladies gossiping about?"

Cas and Sam had recovered from their laughter just in time for the former of the two to answer. "We're trying to figure out whose brother is the worst."

"And I'm winning." Sam chipped in, causing them both to giggle again at how offended Dean looked.

Pulling up a chair however, his expression changed to a cross between amused and malicious that instantly stopped Sam laughing. "You think I'm a pain to live with eh Sammy? Tell me, who was it that had to change all your diapers, force you to eat your dinner and bath you when you were a baby? Or how about that time when you ate dirt because someone told you it would give you magical powers and you believed them and then came into the house puking and I had to clean it up? Or when you hit puberty and grew out of all your clothes and I had to lend you mine for a week before we could go shopping?" By now Dean's smug smile was as wide as it could be and Cas and Gabriel were dying of laughter while Sam's face was getting redder and redder but still Dean continued.

"What about that time in second grade when you wet yourself during the school assembly? Or when you cried because that girl- what was her name- Madison, dumped you. And then there was that time a couple of weeks ago that I promised I'd never mention again…" Dean trailed off there, raising his eyebrow and Sam's face was so red it seemed impossible that there was any blood left in the rest of his body.

"So Sammy, bearing in mind the fact I know crap about you that other people can't even imagine, are you still gonna say I'm an awful brother?"

He finished with a smirk, leaving the obvious threat of blackmail in the air as Sam accepted he had to concede defeat. "Ok fine you win Cas, although it's not really a proper victory so technically-"

"So technically it still counts." Cas smiled, "Unless you want Dean to tell us more embarrassing stories about you?"

Sam knew he was never going to live that down. "I think I'd rather lose the argument."

Before Cas had a chance to answer Gabriel made an annoyed noise. "No fair, I was looking forward to hearing them. Although I've already got plenty out of this conversation." He turned fully towards Dean now and fixed him with what was supposed to be a seductive smile. "So, Dean, you're sexy and manipulative, just my type. Are you sure you're not even slightly gay?" He continued his earlier flirtations and once again the older Winchester started going red and flustered.

Looking on the bright side of things it seemed Sam might be getting some good blackmail material out of today too.


End file.
